Hannah Montana's adventure 35
by Chickensrule67
Summary: The crack fic that wasn't meant to be seen by other people, the crack fic that was meant to burn in the depths of modern music. Some say this is the secret lost treasure, but I assure you, this is Sparta. No, THIS IS MADNESS!


Okay ladies and gentlemen, here it is... The one, and only.. HANNAH MONTANA'S ADVENTURE 3.5! Though I don't really expect this one to become as popular as the first one(though that one wasn't really a one hit wonder either :P) so this just goes for the really bored people out there just sitting in their chair reading LightxL yaoi fics. Not that I have a problem with those. Anyway, let's get on it with it! :P

P.S. The weird Sonadow story that I have was NOT written by me. Hence why it's not an adventure story _

P.S.S I'm sorry if I offended any fans of Hannah, this was just for the lulz xP Though I'll probably get burned for it o3o

P.S.S.S I like pie. BTW: I DARE YOU to read this out loud with the funniest voice over you can do. And if you can't read it out loud, then I'm sorry :c

Hannah Montana's adventure 3.5

Once upon a time there was Hannah Montana whom was looking at her left toe nail, searching for an answer.

"Man I wanna know the meaning of life. I mean, what's the point of us? Where did we come from? Art thou shall not grant epiphany upon thee? Oh why always me.." Hannah said tragically, grabbing a stuffed (pedo)bear for support, clutching it on her man boobs.

Suddenly her toe nail opened up, revealing a treasure chest of African muscle trainers and a sign that said 'Do not copy this sign'. Hannah widened her eyes and her mouth turned into a flute.

"WE SHALL REVIVE THE CHANCLETAS! ORAL STANDING TUTUS ARE NOT CONSIDERED BY ANY MEANS A TURQUOISE HORSE EATING BEANIES! ATTACK!" A purple jellybean shouted from Canada, popping out of Hanna's toenail.

"EEEEEEEEPPPP MY LECHUGAS ARE BEING COOKED! I NEED TO SERVE THEM TO BRA JUMPING HULA HACKS!" Hannah screamed out, giving out a 'raeg' face to her toenail, staring at the jellybean.

Then a cactus shaped tequila whisperer started doing jumping jacks in the two-hundred page of Harry Potter. Porkchops and sausages were conditioning air plugs in air conditioning jumbo rainbow boobies! :O NO TOASTER REMAINED ALIVE AS A SHIRT SLICED THROUGH THE CORN TREES.

"STROLLING THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS HEY, NEVER THOUGHT I COULD EVEN GO THERE HEY, NOT ONE MINUTE AND I'M FLYING HEY NO WAYYY" Green towel said, snapping it's fingers.

"GIMME THAT CHRISTIAN SIDE HUG!" Trash can said, doing the Soulja dance (Notice how all of the saying from the characters are in caps lock...And you know why? ...

Because that's how your mom sounded last night o~o)

PICKLES, NOOOO! Hannah ate out her own tooth while playing the maracas with her feet as she felt a rock appear on her leg.

"OOOOOHHH WHATS THIS?" She exclaimed, pulling out an umbrella just to put it on her eyeball to see through the eyes of a candy wrapper.

_NOOOOO!_

_End_

"WATER LILIES! COME TO PAPA, BERT!" A pimp said, shaking his booty and having the urge to tap dance.

"WELL TRINKLE MY DINGLE, IT'S A STRIP OF BACON!" Cocoa powdered chameleon said, having a seizure afterwards.

And so, Hannah Montana plucked her unibrow as she looked into the eyes of her biggest rival... Mary Poppins. NO! Get that off the stage, it might slider! BOOM

"SOUPAMAKALOCACHOLA" Hannah said, trying to pwn Mary Poppins in a contest of who can sound like a Latino. ( I'm Latina, so don't take offense xD)

"OOOHHHH, SISIGACAHUATEMARYPUNCHACALAKA!" Mary did an OOOHHHHH while Hannah did a Oh no you didn't! Face.

Toasted covered waffles were serving up a batch of sexy while flamingos were wearing baby shirts and long necks in soup.

"HIYACHI MARI GOOSE LICKING MONKEY CANS!" Caps lock said, flailing out of its donkey colored roses and pink mayonnaise sauce bricks. MINT GREEN PONIES AND BEYOND GUACAMOLE.

Hannah then ran on a bridge, singing "Asereje" while counting her lipstick collection. Wall platter then boasted on Ben & Jerry's pool which was outside of the jungle locking herbivores of carnivorous snakes.

"UNBREAK MY HEAAAARRTTT, SAY YOU LOVE ME AGAAAIIINNNN!" An agony-filled iguana sang, tightening its fists and looking at the sky. Everyone cried except for Eeyore.

"Hannah, go on a mission and KILL EVERYBODY" A bald guy said, Hannah placed her hand on her forehead and twisted her mouth into a U shape. Impossible? I think...NOT.

"BUT I DON'T WANNA GET THE SOUP" Hannah protested, swirling into a batch of coral whip cream.

"" Vacuum cleaner said, popping its eyeballs to the music around the diaper headed pop star whose name was Justin Beaver.

123456789... NO TEN! * dies*

Listen, just get your little sibling off of the damn TV already. Sheesh. Now put a hand on your head and say pickles ten times. Good. Now, stand up and shake your hips until you stop reading the following sentence: Pickles are green and slender like cucumbers. Did it? Good. Now you shall get the answer you were looking for, ready? Ready ready? Alright then, here it is:

...

...

...

...

...

..

...

...

...

You're an idiot.

THANK YOU!

"CHO CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHA CHAAAA! MIS LATIDOS PROFUNDOS SON MARAVILLOSOS COMO LOS ACENTOS AUSTRLIANOS COMO UN BEBE EN EL ARBOL DE LA VIDA DE UNA PERSONA QUE LE GUSTA VER PORNO EN SU NINTENDO DS AND BEYOND!" Blue shirt said, wrapping a thin polar bear to a steak shaped broccoli sauce pancake. Listen up, just because a piece of soup sauce CANNOT melt in the same curtain, it doesn't mean that Pikachu can just hump it, GOT IT RITE?

Hannah then started to fly into a direction in which only the Gremlins filled with buckets could enter, but she was the exception of the chosen one. Bean battered llamas then started beating the ground with their beaks, pushing the secret non existing but they're still there buttons to go to Mars to eat twinkies. Then a retro thinking homo was thinking of ways to think. Troll, much?

"LECHUGAAAAA!" A Chinese man screamed, but then the world blew up.

PPPPPPOKER FACE...CAN'T GET THE SAUCE SENSATION RUFFLES INTO THE BAG OF PEANUT FLAVORED SOCKS.

"God DAMN those are some SEXY wildebeests"(I wrote that wrong for the lulz)! Hotdog station said, eating a whole sidewalk cut from Lady Gaga's ear. NOOOOOOO PUTTING IT UP FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO DANCE WITH COCOA PEBBLES AND THE BLONDE LADY WEARING A BLONDE WIG.

"DON'T FORGET THE DAMN CHEESE YOU DAMN COMMUNIST!" Bandana said, punching a non existing but existing wall that appeared to not exist but existed in a way that was non existing. Troll, much?

"GIMME THAT TOFU OR ELSE WE'LL ALL DIE!" Arm said, swirling in its own mushroom flavored oranges.

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU said, drawing squares on the beachy beach.

"OH NO" Pointless guy said, putting on a pink cowboy hat.

ROCKET BLASTING HOOLEGANS, IT'S A GIRL!11

"AY AY AY!" Hannah screamed, pushing hard to give birth.

"You're almost there, Hannah! Just a little more!" Monopoly guy said, cheering Hannah on to keep pushing.

"S-S-S—S-S-SSAUSAGE!" Hannah screamed out before giving birth to a peanut headed dog.

"GASP! It's so beautiful!" A huge nose said, wiping its tears with a lamp.

"BTW, YOU'RE NOT THE FATHER!" Hannah said to Barney, who gasped and started crying.

"THAT'S RIGHT CAUSE I'M THE BABY DADDY BABY!" Justin Beaver said, but then died because he took his 44th step.

Dinosaurs were curling a dog's tail while Chewbacca was making a xylophone. Then a lobster went to get Rick Rolled by the microwave in tights. I AM YOUR BROTHER, YOUR BEST FRIEND FOREVER SINGING THE SONGS THE MUSIC THAT YOU 

"Oohhhh, a lollipop!" Rin Kagamine said, brushing her teeth while doing everything that she does.

"GIMME THAT HEALTHY CHULETA MAMISITA!" Door said, snapping its fingers.

"OOOHHHH YEAH, CAUSE I'VE GOT THE SWEET CHILI MAMISITA CALIENTE, DOS MAS DOS ES CUATRO!" Flower pot sang, putting on a random wig and exhilirating.

BYCICLE, BYCICLE, I WROTE THAT WROOOONNNGGG~

"No!" Clown said, pushing its own nose into custody. IF JUMBO WINGS COULD BE EATEN, SO CAN I! Pumping octopus were no longer available in America just cause they liked the rocks there. THE BOX ATE THE ORIGINAL COFFIN. But nobody knew why an alien politely laughed at the flaming paper. Almost daily, a fox quickly kicked the green chair.

Sometimes, the monster regularly screamed at the screaming chair. Though it would get sparkles in the oven so often that the frog would wash his coffee bag.

"OH MY GOD I CAN FLY!" An airplane said, kicking Hannah Montana in the head. CHURRO

"Listen, all of us are a part of one and one is one and two is one cause two is equal to one centimetre of the whole capsule in the wide variety of..."

And so, the lemon got killed. R.I.P

"Woah, woah, woaH! What the hell is this? This story makes as much sense as watching an episode of Salad Fingers!" Hannah Montana exclaimed, furrowing her brows at the sight of this story going onto this site.

"YOU CAN MAKE IT DARLING!" A mother shouted to a spatula who was doing backflips while brushing his teeth.

"HEY YOU STOLE MY TOOTHBRUSH IDEA!" Rin Kagamine screamed at the spatula, stepping on it repeatedly until it turned into a Gameboy Advance.

"OOOOHHHH YEAH, GOTTA GET THAT SIDE BURNED RICH CHOCOLATE WITH A SIDE OF GRAVY AND TOFU, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M SINGING BUT I'M SINGING! CHACALACACHACALACACHACALACA BOOOOMMM! OOOHHH, YOU KNOW THE POPSICLES WOULDN'T CLEAN BY THEMSELVES, CAUSE THEY GOT POSTERS OF AUSTIN POWERS ON THE WALL, BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY BOOOTY BOOTY BOOTY!" Pants said while eating Hannah Montana's ear.

"Holy PICKLE DRAWER WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" Exclamation mark said, pointing to the sky. Mary Poppins also did it with Mary Poppins who also did it with Mary Poppins.

"GIMME IT GIMME IIITTT!" Hannah said, fighting a turkey in Central Park. A whole crowd of Sesame Street characters surrounding them. Gotta get that...Gotta get that SUPER SONIC RUFFLES! OH, THE COCKROAH, OH, THE COCKROACH! WAR, UHHH! WAR ISN'T GOOD FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN'! LISTEN TO ME, AAAAAUUUUHHHH!

"Look, just put it in the washing machine already" Peanut butter said, crossing its arms over to Captain Crunch.

"LOOK AT ME, I'VE RETURNED!" Bella Swan said, flailing her arms around but then stepped on cow crap and died.

G-strings are the cause of homosexual abuse. Please don't let us down.

Kumquats are naturally morphed into the kangaroo's couch only to seek out its large titties. And yes, I said TITTIES. U mad?

"ALL I HAVE ARE TOILET PAPER ROLLS, HAVEN'T YOU HAD ENOUGH?" The pilot screamed to his ear.

But suddenly, a rampaging sight of rampage flew to his cuckoo's nest( Saw whut I did therrrr?) WHUT, WHUT WHUT. SQUIDWARD.

Hannah Montana walked through the forest of trees and found herself to be alive.

"OH GOD!" She whined, licking a crab. EXTRA OUNCE, EXTRA OUNCE OF HOURGLASS PLZ. FALCON SHAPED COOKIESSSSSSSSSSs

Sonic the hedgehog ran upside down with Bart Simpson backwards in a giant churro while Cinderella masturbated. And then a donut hit Hannah in the ass and she died.

**The end**


End file.
